soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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