i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
