I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
