One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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