I want to stick my p in your. b.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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