i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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