Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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