come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
