i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
