if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
