we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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