If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
