He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
