Nicole vs. Life
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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