Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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