And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
