The maid of honor just puked.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
