just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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