its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
