So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
