Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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