The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
