: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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