Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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