I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
