I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish they made helmets for livers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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