I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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