And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
