Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
