oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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