I'm drive I can fine osifer
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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