All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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