My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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