i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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