My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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