Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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