you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
