is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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