It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
