I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
