Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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