Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
