Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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