i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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