you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
