In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize