Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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