dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
