I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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