I just threw up on my dentist
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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