we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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