whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
