Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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