at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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