thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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