let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
