i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
