hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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