i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
