dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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