I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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