So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize