I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
