that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
