remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
