Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
bring money and cleavage
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We need to get me chipped asap
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
