this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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