just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
