google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
