i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
