just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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