I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
